January 2021
Pants
Wrote the caption Pants. underneath a photo. It got 91 likes. Reread it the next morning and it still landed. Kept it. There is something to the unit of a single word that feels honest in a way a paragraph does not.
A small column
Notes
Short pieces. Not a blog. The voice that is in the captions on Instagram, except louder about it on purpose, because the captions were getting buried.
April 2020
Running out of places
April 2020 caption: running out of places to hide from myself. It read funny, then it read accurate, which is mostly how I know a line is working. The line is not the joke. The line is the small report.
June 2019
Signature side angle shoulder move
Years of being photographed badly produced exactly one defensive maneuver, which I gave a name to in 2019 and have never abandoned. Sometimes the move is the thing. Sometimes the thing is just the move.
August 2024
Rudy
Eight years with my Rudy and I wish I could have had eight more. The post got 33 comments, which felt like the most honest engagement metric I have ever seen, because nobody comments on a dog post unless they actually loved a dog.
Note from a working set
Horror Movie
The Geico spot from 2014 is the one casting offices know me for. It is one minute of being scared, deadpan, in a closet. The line is, I think we should split up. The closer the joke gets to a real fear, the better the take. I learned more about timing in that booth than I did in two years of class. You can quote me on that. You should not quote me on that.